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KNEELING FOR MY FIRST HUNDRED! - 100 KM del Passatore | Firenze - Faenza

KNEELING FOR MY FIRST HUNDRED!

KNEELING FOR MY FIRST HUNDRED!

Crevalcore, Saturday 20 May 2012 at 4.04 magnitude 5.9

Not even the time to reflect on the terrorist act of Brindisi that we get back on our knees, awakened and afraid, at 4 in the morning, by a tremendous earthquake.

In this mood, I finally decide to try to run the Passatore. I leave for Faenza on one condition: I do not leave my daughter Lucia alone in a land that trembles. She will be with me, nothing will separate us!

Florence, Saturday 26 May 2012 at 3.30 pm departure for a dream

From Faenza I reach quiet Florence, Lucia is in good hands, she is with me and within me.

I start quietly, the road is long, I don’t seem to run, my body slides along the soft hills that will take us to Faenza, I don’t seem to run, I pass the first goals, my daughter is along the way and with her “Come on mom” is ready to cheer me on, applaud me, incite me, want to join me to embrace me. I would like to kiss her but the emotion assails me and I run away in front of the fear of crying, I can’t cry, I don’t want to cry, it’s a luxury that I can’t afford. My life is too hard to give me moments of tears. But it is precisely because life is hard that taught me to bend without breaking, I go ahead, I eat the climb in one bite, I didn’t think it was so simple and, laughing, joking, playing I reach “the Colla” a goal feared by everyone, unaware of the darkness of next night …

It is dark … I am in crisis …

I see the sign of the 99th km, I stop, I look around, I wonder where I am, I don’t recognize the place, I wonder what I’m doing, I don’t recognize my figure, I see the light of the finish-line and as if awakened from a dream , I wonder what happened in the meantime, I don’t remember, it’s a forgetting …

They only tell me that I ran the 100km of the Passatore in 10h18.55 arriving 196 ° absolute, as well as 14th woman, boh … I don’t understand what happened that night, too many emotions were to understand that it is a reality and not a dream.

“But did I really run the 100 km of the Passatore?”

What is the Passatore? Who is the Passatore?

The Passatore for me is like a man, a true Man, a courteous Man, he is the Courteous Passator!

Many speak to me of him, in our environment he is a true legendary idol, feared and respected. Beautiful, charming, gallant but strong, tough and ambitious, in short, a real man! A lady, one who knows many of men like him, speaks to me with the eyes of a lover, you can see her eyes shining while she tells me of her love and I, like a real little girl, fall in love with her at first sight …

I inquire, I look around, I look for everything that can bring me to him, I want to conquer him, the first caresses, the first kisses, the first gifts begin: three marathons in 3 months, the Strasimeno, the 8 hours, the 50 of Romagna , I also try to participate in his Triptych, I try to do everything to attract his attention and his judgment. Every time I finish a race, it is like a boulder for me that collapses, making me bend over from the suffering and fear of not being at your height. He doesn’t seem to notice me, I walk around him, I try to be seen along the way, I talk to his friends, but he seems very far from me, he has other ladies to please. Actually, I’m just a stupid girl on the first experience. I look forward to the first meeting, i.e. the realization of this dream of mine, I buy new shoes, I prepare the dinner with his favorite gels and supplements, I put in the bag the spare evening dress to be fresh after having traveled all the way uphill that separates me from him, but nothing calms my fear.

I am so in love with her that her refusal would be too great a suffering for me to overcome.

I speak of this exciting dream of mine with Big Andrea, who decides to accompany me along the journey, wants to help me logistically and morally to make this dream come true. I will never stop thanking him for what he has done for me. It was unique, because it is already great!

The Passatore is a passionate Man, he knows how to give me moments of wonderful intimacy, he knows how to love me passionately, he knows how to undress me gently …

… story interrupted …

Crevalcore, Tuesday 29 May 2012 at 9.03 magnitude 6.0

All over, all canceled, all canceled! My emotion is over, my mind is erased, my life is erased!

I no longer feel like a dignified person, I have been stripped of everything, inside and outside of me, I am the daughter of the earthquake, now!

On my knees I left and on my knees I returned!

But I’m only on my knees, I’m only bent!

I wish I could forget this earthquake, and yet it is still very much alive inside me, I remember everything, I remember the night when, during the first earthquake, the bedroom wall trembled, screamed and I trembled with him, screamed …

I wish I could forget those 400m of running that I did during the day, during the second earthquake, to reach Lucia’s school among the historic and mighty buildings that looked like papier-mâché, between the earth that looked like a carpet beaten in the wind, between stones and rubble that flew from the sky …

I wish I could forget the bad memories and keep only the good ones, but you don’t mind!

Above all, I would like to give my daughter Lucia that tranquility and happiness that I cannot give her for now. I feel helpless, failed, disappointed in my attempt to be a mother and a human being.

Finally, in this story of mine, I discovered who really is a friend of mine, many have been deleted from my emotional list, but many I have kept discovering in them a true value, a value that goes far beyond the loss that I had.

THANKS FRIENDS!!!

There are many of you trying to make me forget the bad moments and make me remember the beautiful ones that have been in the meantime.

THANKS FRIENDS!!!

Your outstretched hands are giving me the strength to get up making me stronger than before.

THANKS FRIENDS!!!

Today, two weeks after the disaster, I want and demand my forgotten emotions, therefore, everything remains postponed to Passatore 2013, the moment in which I will spend all the strengths and energies accumulated by the anger and impotence that the man in front of has to nature.

I will redeem myself!

And this is a promise I make to you, my friends!

Ilaria Marchesi
Uisp Creval..corre
Fidal Ass.Pol. Scandianese

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